Surinder Simmons, Chief People Officer, Hearst UK

Both have been somewhat eventful! With my first child, Ravi, I left work as the UK Head of HR for Sony Ericsson. Whilst on maternity leave both the Global Head of HR and the Regional Head of HR left the business. I knew these changes would have an impact on my role and felt quite isolated on maternity leave as changes took place across the company. With the restructure that followed I guessed my job might be impacted and indeed I was told as much during a KIT day conversation before my return. Sony Ericsson and I agreed to part ways amicably.

My confidence was knocked but I knew that I had to make the best of a bad situation. I accelerated getting my fitness levels back post having the baby which helped my confidence when interviewing (not an easy task)! Financial necessity was a driver as the higher earner in our household.

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Normally a very decisive person I was uncharacteristically wobbly, unsure what to prioritise. I began by looking locally, thinking how nice it would be to be close to home and to Ravi. I considered a more junior role on less salary believing this may allow me a greater work life balance. I worried who was going to hire me fresh from maternity leave. I remember looking with interest at a job locally that was paying a third less than my old salary. It took my husband to point out to me that even if I earned half my salary I would still work just as hard, so why was I about to do this? He was so right!

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Although my confidence had been shaken, I had to remind myself of what I had achieved, the experience I held and what I could offer an employer. I landed two job offers at the same time. One of the jobs was local and may therefore have been easier to manage, the other was in Soho at Hearst UK HQ with the opportunity to make a huge difference. Job satisfaction was critical, especially if I was to put my son into nursery.

Daunting, however, I knew I could make a difference and set to work getting to know the business and shaping the team working for me. I had a great boss who allowed me the autonomy to make decisions and was hugely supportive. I joined Hearst as the Head of HR in the December and fell pregnant in the February! I was 39 and nervous about getting pregnant because I had just started in this new job and I worried about how this was going to look to Hearst. But after a few heart-to-hearts with friends and family I realised the dilemma was a ridiculous one – I wanted another child, I wanted Ravi to have a sibling, I was not getting any younger. This was about our long-term family life together and I realised I had a whole lifetime of work ahead of me, but a very small window of opportunity to be able to have another child.

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When Millie came along, I had not been with Hearst for long enough to qualify for maternity pay meaning the financial challenge for us was significant. Dave and I managed things carefully when, for example, thinking about childcare and we agreed to be one of the very few people at that time to take shared parental leave, each taking six months off.

Apart from the financial pressures, if I am honest, it was the guilt I felt of getting pregnant so soon after starting in a new role that was a key reason we adopted shared parental leave. It meant I could get back to work quickly and we didn’t have to put Millie in nursery any sooner than we had put Ravi in – I had a marker in my head that Millie would not go to nursery before she had turned one (same as her brother). I felt confident about leaving Millie knowing she was being looked after by her Dad and I didn’t have to worry about home at all. There was still guilt for me though – guilt about not being there for Millie in the same way I had been for Ravi.

No, it didn’t and in fact when I look back I wonder if I should have taken the full year. Three months after I returned to work my boss at Hearst left and I was asked to step up to the HR Director role. This was a big opportunity for me and our beautifully orchestrated routine at home with me working four days a week in a role I was enjoying was thrown up in the air. Again, it was Dave who said, “You can’t turn it down”. I never seriously contemplated not taking the role but I did have a lot of angst about making it work with two children at home, Millie barely nine months old. How could I do this? But in my gut I knew I was going to accept the promotion – it was what I had worked for, so Dave and I had lots of discussions about what this would mean for our family and how we could make it work.

The partnership I have with my husband who works four days a week, ensures we both get what we need and keep a balance of sorts between work and home. For the last five years he has been the one who has taken primary responsibility for the children, managing pick-up and drop off. He is the first one the school calls if there is a problem. Dave is signed up to school email, has log on details for ParentPay, all the things that typically mums sign up to. The mental load never leaves you but between us we manage school, parties, clubs, playdates. We try to outsource as much as we can, a piece of advice I had from a previous CEO who advised me to outsource all cleaning and ironing and any other household tasks as well as sign up to Amazon Prime! Doing this means I can dedicate my weekends to Dave and the kids.

Whether it’s because of a dip in confidence or otherwise I often see returners not wanting to ‘rock the boat’ at work. They appear apologetic for having been on maternity leave and are so grateful to be given flexible working hours they stop asking for what they need to perform at their best. They don’t want to pull the limelight to them in case it impacts their carefully balanced working arrangements. They seem to lose their voice at a time when they need to project it most.

I never feel that at work. I think my work speaks for myself. Where I feel judged is at the school gate – albeit it is probably just going on in my head. I worry about what other mums think of me. I worry that I am not there for the bake sale even though I have stayed up late to bake a cake. I worry that I am the only parent who has forgotten their child’s packed lunch for the school trip. Last Friday was pyjama day at school so I made sure the children had their PJs and £1 donation that morning, and when I got home after work my son asked why Daddy or I never come to these events at school. These moments I find difficult.

I am open at work about my commitments at home and people know I sometimes need to leave the office to get home, in my case for the kids. However, I afford the same flexibility to my team – whether they have children or not.

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I try to encourage anyone who is going on maternity leave to enjoy their time with their baby. I know better than most that things change at work when you are on leave, but you will never get that time with your baby again so enjoy it and make the most of it.

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Work can feel like a very different place on your return, peers may have been promoted and their confidence is soaring as yours is taking a dip. Sometimes you do not come back to the same dynamics and this can be unsettling. I would remind any returner that they are as good if not better than they were before they left. You’ve not gone down in people’s expectations – the break is an opportunity to clearly demonstrate your value and is a chance to accelerate your career.

I don’t have to always be 'on'.  I don’t log on when I am on leave. I make it clear how I am contactable. Weekends and holiday time are for the family and I dedicate this time to them.

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I’ve learned the power of having a great team. Investing my time in my brilliant team and their development is vital to me because I am now surrounded by people who are hugely capable, qualified and can take the reins from me when needs be. Because of this I don’t have to be across every decision. When I am away from the office I have total trust that the team have handled issues and moved things forward in my absence. It also helps that I have a boss who trusts me.

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I’m learning to be calmer and more considered to slow down and enjoy life more, both at work and at home. I am however, no less ambitious!