Liz Brownell, Portfolio Finance Director, Capita CGS

That I like and need the intellectual stimulation of work – I was never going to enjoy being a stay at home mum and I realised during both my maternity leaves that I would not be the best parent that I could be if I were to choose this route.

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Having children has made me a little more empathetic at work – I try to understand where people are coming from because I’ve learned that you can never know what is really going on in someone’s head. I am also more flexible with people. Pre-children my attitude was “the deadline is 5pm, so I want it for 5pm” but the reality may be that the document is not going to be read till the next morning and this can make all the difference to a working parent who has to do the nursery pick up and log on again later.

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I am also much better at prioritising what has to be done over what would be nice to get done – time is much more precious now.

It didn’t impact me negatively and this is because I have had really good bosses both times round to the extent that during my recent maternity leave I came back early to accept a promotion. My immediate instinct on being offered this promotion was “No, I can’t do it!” – that was the imposter syndrome in me – but I was encouraged and supported to make it work by my boss who did all he could to make it feel safe for me to step up.

I think like many women my confidence took a hit by being out of the office for so long. I won’t lie, there were a lot of tears during the first month back, especially this time round when I felt out of my depth in my new role. But my attitude was that I had been given a step up and I had to give it a good go because I might not get a chance like this again. You push yourself to go in every day and every day gets a little bit easier. It also helped that I treated myself to a new outfit for day one and dressed for the job! These small things can make a big difference to your confidence.

The first time round I would say don’t work right up to your due date as this will be your very last opportunity to have time for yourself without feeling guilty about it.

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What worked for me was setting things up so that I could keep in touch with my boss when I was off – just informally. We had a few telephone chats here and there so I could keep informed as to what was going on in what is a very fast paced organisation. This was hugely helpful to me when I transitioned back in.

That it is ok for it not to be amazing. It is not going to be good for the first month or so – this is ok, and you should expect it. I had high hopes of being able to switch back into work immediately and the truth is that this just didn’t happen. Don’t expect too much of yourself – you will have days when you wish you were at home.

Be clear about what you want before you return. When you have got kids, work is just more difficult – so set yourself realistic goals and don’t over promise something you are not going to follow through on. Also, if you are proposing to work flexibly think carefully about what will work for the business not just your personal circumstances – the day you want to work from home, for example, may not work commercially – think this through before you put in your request.

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I’d also say seek out like-minded people in your organisation. I followed my boss specifically to two different roles as I knew he was the sort of person I wanted to work for. I made sure I did all I could to have the right people around me that would support me and believe in me.

I am lucky that I have and have had fantastic bosses who are huge supporters of working mums. On one of the days when I struggled to fit everything in post my return, I remember him telling me that he would rather have me for four days a week than someone else for five – this really resonated with me. It made me feel valued and this made all the difference to my confidence and performance.

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I think employers would do well to recognise that you get a hell of a lot out of a working mum – they will often work twice as hard to demonstrate that they are pulling their weight, especially if they work part time. Working Mums are supremely gifted at focusing and getting work done efficiently.

One of the biggest mistakes is expecting to carry on doing all the domestic duties, all the childcare and work full time – something has to give. When both parents have full-on jobs I think that often the childcare responsibility still falls to the woman, even though their work is as demanding. When a child is sick, for example, the default options nearly always seems to be the mum. When women go on mat leave they tend to do most of the domestic duties too – and there often does not seem to be a re-balancing of this when they go back to work.

I work a full-time week within 4 days but, don’t get me wrong, I do sometimes end up working on a Friday, my non-working day, but it is usually when I choose to do it. Our management team are aware and accommodate unless it’s critical. So, I will sometimes do a couple of hours on a Sunday or often I will break off to have tea with the kids and log on later in the evening when the kids are in bed – this flexibility is important to making it work.

I also have a good support network with my husband. He is a really hands on parent and I have a close group of friends with whom I can emotionally off-load. I am lucky in that my friendship group are fairly like-minded and down to earth – it helps a great deal that I am not constantly benchmarking myself against super stay at home mums who attend every event, cook organic meals and hand-make their child’s World Book Day outfit. I choose not to compare myself to someone I just know am not going to be.