They were both very different experiences. My first maternity leave with Zac was a difficult birth and he had to stay in hospital for the first two weeks. He didn’t feed well and hardly slept for nine months – it was a really tough time and all my grand plans and goals for mat leave went out of the window. I returned to KPMG four days a week in my consulting role until I went off for my second maternity leave a year later, which was so much better – I loved it. Tom was a much easier baby. I didn’t have time to think about him as much so he sort of settled himself. In addition, during this second maternity leave, I got a lot more time to think about my role at work. I was fortunate to have maternity coaching which gave me the space to think about and get perspective on my career, specifically what I was truly interested in and wanted to do in the future. I looked at what I enjoyed, and was good at, both inside of work and outside. I also had a great mentor from KPMG, who just 'got me'. Once I had defined what I wanted to do, it was much easier to look for it, and soon secured a change of role within KPMG that began my transition into the client role I have today.
Helen Wada, KPMG
Introduction
Helen Wada (43) is part of the leadership team in KPMG’s Technology, Media and Telecoms (TMT) sector. She is responsible for key client relationships across the business and is also a qualified executive coach. Helen is married to Chris and has 2 children, Zac (9 years old) and Tom (7 years old). She works a 90% working week including half a day working from home.
I think the definition of success changes. I was very career focused, I still am, but in a different way. I used to be all about the next promotion, but now for me success is more about the whole self.
Unfortunately, because of the way the promotion rounds work in KPMG I probably lost some ground in terms of moving forward in the way I had got used to in the past, directly up the ladder. However, I remember a powerful moment working with my coach, who drew me a timeline of the ages 35 to 70. All of a sudden, I realised that I had a long time ahead of me, and with that a long career, in whichever direction I wanted to take it. Looking back, I was thankful for the pause and maternity leave, to give myself space to really focus on something that I wanted to focus on, not just what I had fallen into. I am also lucky to have KPMG as an employer who has supported me through my career journey over the last 9 years, since having children.
I was keen and ready to come back to work on both occasions. I was nervous the second time round as I had made the mental shift to do something different but had not yet put my finger on what this was, so that was a challenge. But I was open to new opportunities and so, as often happens when you start to open your eyes and ears, the right career opportunity appeared.
I would love for working parents to know that they have it all in them to do what they need to do.
Looking back on both my experiences of returning, I would love for working parents to know that they have it all in them to do what they need to do. Often it is our own internal barriers rather than other people’s that stand in our way during these transitions. Sometimes we think about barriers although they are not there and so we overthink and over worry. Again, coaching helped me to realise this.
Make the most of your maternity leave. Many organisations offer paid Keeping In Touch (KIT) days and this is a key opportunity for you to extend your internal network (and clients, if you have them). Keep in touch with what is going on – don’t be afraid to be a bit selfish about this so that you find out the things that are important to you and your career.
Networking is critical. And my number one wish for women when they are networking is to simply be themselves. I am naturally a very open person and what I am seeing more in the workplace is the desire for authenticity – talk about what is happening to you as a woman, as a working parent and don’t shy away from it. I’ve had many conversations with other senior women about the everyday stuff, packing the swim kit, the constant juggling and split of chores at home. It is important to keep it real, with both men and women, we are all humans, with a life outside of work. It is often a source of bonding in new relationships, before we get down to business.
Don’t be afraid that what you thought you wanted before children is not what you want now.
Use the time before you return to reflect. You do change and it is important to acknowledge that one size doesn’t fit all, all of the time. And so don’t be afraid that what you thought you wanted before children is not what you want now, I found it also changed once I knew I had completed my family. I think the definition of success changes too. I was very career focused, I still am, but in a different way. I used to be all about the next promotion, but now for me success is more about the whole self and what I can contribute to wider society. I am still ambitious at work, but I recognise that I am also a mum, wife, daughter and friend and need to be able to strike a balance between them all. Ironically, by focussing on what I am good at and enjoy, it is surprising how balancing the different roles is really fulfilling on multiple levels.
I would encourage women to not put too much pressure on themselves, we all have a tendency to try and do too much. After my second maternity leave, when I took a new opportunity at work, I realised I was trying to do too much. I was knackered. I was trying to be a mum, a wife, do the day job and stretch myself into the next role. I was dropping the kids at nursery and doing the pick-up and then working until 11pm most nights. If I was able to go back to that time I would remind myself of the long career timeline and how I did not need to put as much pressure on myself.
Finally, don’t forget the importance of self-care. Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. Whatever this means for you – be it exercise, getting your hair or nails done or having a coffee with a friend. This time is vital for your sanity.
Supporting men with their family commitments enables mums to have greater flexibility with their own return to work.
I am fortunate in that KPMG has been amazing as an employer during both maternity leaves. I have been given the flexibility to do what I need to do and make this work for my family. There is always more that can be done though, and the solution is on a case by case basis. For me the individual also needs to take responsibility. I have found KPMG to be receptive every time I have asked, but you often need to approach the conversation in a proactive way. I am also a big believer in sharing the parenting (which I know is not always possible for some people), but by paying it forward, supporting men with their family commitments, in turn, it enables mums to have greater flexibility with their own return to work. This is a big focus for KPMG at the moment.
Coaching is very important. I really valued that facilitated time and space to think, to the extent that I qualified as an executive coach in 2017 and have coached many leaders at KPMG. Also, encouraging people who have been there and done that to act as mentors is valuable – having someone senior share their experiences really honestly can be incredibly helpful and organisations might do more to encourage leaders to be more authentic and open.
To be honest, one day I’m so excited about building our business and the next I’m wondering whether I give it all up! It doesn’t always work. We are in a fortunate position that I can pay for help though and this is a big part of making it work. We also have both maxed out on the government childcare schemes which has helped a little. Both my boys are in school and we have a nanny three days a week. My husband plays an active role, which is crucial, and not everyone has someone at home, so I am lucky in this respect. My husband and I – together with our nanny – are 'Team Wada'. It really is a partnership and I am grateful that my husband’s employer also offers flexible working. To be clear, it is not always domestic bliss – we have got to a point where it is teamwork, but I have had a couple of meltdowns along the way which helped my husband to understand the importance of a two-way partnership (and now sometimes, he actually does more than me at home!).
When faced with a new task or project, women will ask “when and how am I going to do this?”. Men however are much better at asking “who is going to do this for me?
Another thing I do to make it work is to push back a lot more. This means saying “no”, which has taken me a long time to do well. But the beauty of pushing back is that people see you in a different way. By clearly stating what I wanted I got a different type of respect which in turn has helped to move me into the leadership role that I hold today. Part of this is understanding the importance of shifting from a mindset of “doing” to one of “facilitating” and making decisions. What I notice is that when faced with a new task or project, women will ask themselves “when and how am I going to do this?”. Men however are much better at asking “who is going to do this for me?”.