Fight, flight or freeze. How are you reacting?

We all have very natural and inbuilt reactions to extreme events and I have been noticing how I have been experiencing the events of the last two weeks and trying to make sense of how I am feeling and what I am doing.

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I am going to put it out there straight away: I am a Flighter (is that even a word?). In times of stress I withdraw into myself and get smaller and quieter, engaging less with those around me, luckily my dog and husband being exceptions to this. My inner hermit is silently shouting with joy at the lockdown situation and indulging in creating a tiny world for me to inhabit.

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I notice also how I am reacting to the Fighters and the Freezers. Oddly the Freezers are bringing out impatience in me, I want them to gain a level of acceptance around the situation and enjoy going to ground as I am. The Fighters are exhausting me, those who have energy, drive and are coming up with ideas, initiatives, calls to action. When my inner hermit loosens her grip, I look at the Fighters with awe and secretly wish I were among them, and then I retreat into my own space.

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Why am I sharing this you may wonder. I don’t have answers and I don’t have a magic wand, but maybe the thoughts below will help us engage with each other more smoothly during these times.

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• For us Flighters – recognise that we may need to challenge ourselves to engage, and accept that this will take more energy. We have the willpower within us even if we have to evoke a very strong, almost Victorian stiff upper lip form of willpower.
• For the Fighters – notice how others are reacting to you and see if they are able to come with you or they are flat or withdrawing.  Allow people time to reflect and adjust your pace to keep others moving along with you. Also find other Fighters to create with, we need you for your ideas and you need energy from others too.
• For the Freezers – have belief that you will unfreeze as you have done many times before. Think about what has helped you in the past to unstick. You are resourceful so look for people whose views and direction you value and ask for help with decisions or making sense of how you are feeling.

Finally, what I also notice is that whilst the Flighter is the dominant part of me, I can also Fight and Freeze in different situations, so I am now constantly on watch for who will emerge at any given point! Although, if I am honest, my hermit has made a lovely cosy study for me to retreat too, she has put flowers on the shelf and new stationary on the desk, I don’t think I am coming out anytime soon.