Claire Bushen, Partner, Kennedys LLP

Claire Bushen (42) is a Partner in Kennedys LLP, a global law firm. She lives in Yorkshire with her husband, Paul, and 7-year-old son, Felix, and works in Manchester. Claire works five days a week, one from home. All partners/lawyers in Kennedys are encouraged to work one day a week from home.

I was nervous about leaving work because I had worked very hard to that point to climb the career ladder and I was worried I would be forgotten about or overtaken. I didn’t find that this happened at all. When Felix was born, I worked for Beachcroft LLP and had a great experience on my return. I then moved to Kennedys when Felix was less than a year old. Whether you are moving firms or going back to your previous role I suspect all women feel worried that they will be forgotten about. The transition is often a really difficult one and we should not underestimate this.

I had been interested in Kennedys for quite some time and was asked to join by a Partner I knew well. To move firms with a very young child is a whole different ball game as it takes you out of your comfort zone. It was a big decision for me and one that I initially declined as I felt the role would be too much, but my hugely supportive husband and I had some long conversations about what the move would mean for us as a family. He helped me to realise that I was perfectly capable of doing the job and that this was a really good opportunity that I could not turn down.

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During the interview stage I was really upfront with our Senior Partner, Nick Thomas, about the age of my family and the fact that I wanted to work flexibly, be there for bedtime, as well as attend school events as Felix grew older. Nick, and the firm, were hugely receptive to this and this is probably what sealed the deal for me. Being honest about these things was not easy but it is a conversation I owed to myself and to the firm.

Time out from the business gave me perspective in ways I could not have imagined. Felix is the centre of my universe and my proudest achievement. Having him realigned everything and reminded me about what is so very important in life. On returning to work I knew that everything must be structured around this little person who was wholly reliant on me.

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As a lawyer, time management is crucial, and deadlines exist – but there are “deadlines” and then there are deadlines and it is important to know the distinction. It is all about managing your time and making sure you use the resource you have around you. It can be very easy to take on board every piece of work but when Felix came along, I had to lean on the resource around me a little more – both at home and at work. Time management is everything when you are a working parent.

You must be honest with yourself and others about what you can do – and this is not just an initial conversation on your return to work but a constant dialogue. Most people work in teams and deadlines are always there, but it is rare that a deadline cannot be managed, either with help from someone in the team or from someone more senior who can manage the critical client relationship. The last thing you should be doing is trying to manage all this by yourself as this can be really overwhelming.

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I would also say that if you are struggling with something or feel out of your depth you should always have support at work – be it technical or pastoral. The key to a lot of this is communicating effectively and in a timely way – don’t hold back and don’t leave things till the last minute! Sometimes you get that dreaded phone call from nursery/ school, and you have to leave the office. It is about making sure your line manager or client knows and appreciates that this is something that happens to everyone – it is just life. You work together and you get through it.

I am a perfectionist, but I think when you become a working mum a huge part of this is accepting that you can’t be 100% of everything to everyone all of the time. You can be the best you can be at what you are doing at any particular moment in time, but of course your priorities change. You might have to do school pick up and so you are 100% focused on work until 2.50pm and then you have to leave. It is about balancing and recognising that you have changed as a person, and this is perfectly ok and normal. We don’t live in a 9–5 world anymore – as long as the people you are working with are clear on what you are doing and how. Most people should be able to work flexibly these days.

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Many of my team today are starting families of their own and I think it is really important that they see others who are able to balance their working lives. If they want to get up at 5am and start a report to enable them to do the school drop off and come into work later this is absolutely fine. These are professional people who have worked very, very hard to get to where they are, and they deserve a level of trust and respect. They know what is required of them – in the legal profession we work to very specific targets – and it is their responsibility to ensure they are meeting these. Let them get on with it in a way that works for everybody.

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Of course, 'everybody' includes the business and whilst it will do what it can to support its employees, at the end of the day the individual needs to appreciate what the business needs. And so, when having any conversation about flexible working I would advise a returning parent to think carefully about the business pressures.  So, for example, if you are wanting to work from home on a specific day, look at who else is working from home and consider if this will cause a problem for the team. Also, if you don’t know other people’s working patterns it is fine to state what you would like whilst acknowledging that you understand there needs to be a solution that works for everyone.  It comes back to effective communication on both sides.

Everybody at every level looks in the mirror some days and thinks, “I know exactly what I am doing today and am on top of things”. The majority of days however, you look in the mirror and think, “Oh my goodness, what am I doing, how on earth did I get here and when will I be found out?”. It doesn’t matter what level you are in your career – you will have good days and bad days and it is just about accepting this whilst trying to make sure you have as much control over them as you can.

As children get older striking the right balance between work and home can get harder. Nurseries are brilliant in that they generally operate from 8am–6pm every working day of the year. School brings different demands but as children grow older it is easier to have a conversation with them about what they want from you. I used to go to great lengths to attend events at school that I thought would be important to Felix, but more recently I have been asking him to help me prioritise things. I have been open about the fact that I can’t come to everything and actually, it came as a real surprise to me to hear the things he felt were important to attend – they were not what I had assumed.

We work so hard to prove ourselves and get to where we are in our careers and just a little bit of support and understanding will go a long way. Employers will get the best out of people by giving them flexibility and latitude because people feel far more committed to somewhere that is supporting them. Thankfully Kennedys is very good on this front in all sorts of ways, not least by offering external coaching to anyone returning after any extended period of leave.

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I would also encourage employers to offer and encourage the utilisation of Keeping in Touch (KIT) days. These are hugely important to make sure the person at home in the all-consuming role of being a full-time parent is given the opportunity to keep the lines of communication open. Things change and move on in business and it is about making sure the return is not such a huge shock to the system for the individual. Supporting is also about helping the returning parent know that when it is time to come back into the office it is ok not to be ok. Those first few weeks can be really, really hard – those feelings of guilt when you leave your child crying at nursery are immense. So, knowing it is alright to call the nursery, or if you are feeling particularly teary that it is ok to go home early and work around things whilst you settle into your new normal – obviously within the confines of the business needs – but you need to have that conversation for this to be clear.

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In my experience it is also critical to tell the employee how really important they are to you and the business. People want to feel valued and even more so when they have been out of the business for an extended period of time and may doubt their abilities. The vast majority of parents have worked very hard to get to where they are and want to give their best on their return. Sometimes they just need to hear from their line manager that this is understood and appreciated. Simply saying, “we are supporting you because you are important to us”, can mean the world to a returning parent. Do not underestimate the power of stating this. Being open about this isn’t just about being nice to employees – it makes good business sense to support your talent because people will give their best efforts if they feel looked-after and supported.

Finally, line managers can play an important role in reminding those returning to be kind to themselves because being the best that they can be – at home and at work – isn’t about delivering 100% on everything.

I am trying to follow my own words of advice, not to be too hard to myself and not to always strive for perfection. In a professional environment this pervades and some days I do better than others at managing my perfectionism – everything is better if you accept this and are kind to yourself. Life is invariably busy and stressful – make sure you take a step back every now and again and recognise what you have achieved.

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I want to say to all women coming back to work after mat leave …