Being present physically and emotionally as one human being to another. Listening, and I mean really listening, to what is being said and not said, and experience with the coachee what is felt in the room and what we as two human beings each feel. This means both coach and coachee draw on the millions of tiny, many unfathomably, data points that arise when one human sits with another to help him/her/they to achieve a goal. There is profound power in this in ways we don’t fully understand. In the words of Brené Brown, “Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued."
Working in an embodied way, encouraging the coachee to connect to their felt sense, their gut instinct, the part of us that knows but cannot say why, using the room and props (real or virtual) to make sense of the challenges the individual is facing.
Sharing as a coach (if and when the time is right) our own experience or sense from the conversation – as a person who is also living in the world and experiencing infinitesimal thoughts, feelings, challenges, joys, hopes, fears. Real coaches bring an empathy that is gained from life experience and a genuine desire to support and connect with another human being.
The use of silence and pauses as a powerful way to encourage the coachee to slow down to do their best thinking.
Giving absolute certainty regarding confidentiality. Is anyone clear where all the information fed into an AI programme actually goes? Do I trust what tech companies do with my data? Even if we accept it is not confidential and so use AI coaching anonymously can I truly let go of what I think I should say and just say what is on my mind when I am being careful to not name names, not get into specifics?
Holding the coachee accountable with just the right level of challenge for that person in that moment of time. Of course, a bot can ask me to report back on progress and challenge me on my commitment to change, but do I care what it thinks and, more importantly, does it care what I say?
Potentially no more bias or judgement than a bot. One of the arguments for AI is that it would be completely unbiased and without judgement, but this isn’t necessarily true – the output is only as good as the data it feeds off. If most bots are programmed by, say, white men what does this do to the lens through which an AI coach operates?
Working in a powerful, appropriate and sensitive way on complex diversity issues relating to gender, culture and race.
Engaging in robust supervision. All good coaches have to have regular supervision with an accredited supervisor, a “super coach” of sorts who holds the coach to account and supports them to be at their best. Who will supervise AI and ensure its best practice?
Leaving the coachee feeling they are indeed not alone in the world and that another human being has thought, felt and been alongside them.
As the two themes emerging in my practice – isolation and pace – tell us, we are crying out for more human connection, not less. We all crave ways to escape technology when we can and seek ways to resist the slippery slope of greater reliance. Deep down we know instinctively that putting everything in the hands of technology is, at a basic primeval level, just not good for us in the long run.I’ll be watching the rise of AI in coaching with interest – and I am genuinely curious and open minded to learn more about its potential. And yet…and yet…I feel a sense of impending ruin for our quality of life if we increasingly look to technology for deeper connection.
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